Patterns
by Hyatt Insomnia
Summary: Cloud thinks over Sephiorth and the patterns they've set. Pre-game. Light Yaoi. SephiorthCloud. For Hana no Ceres


**Patterns**  
**Disclaimer**: Final Fantasy VII and its characters are property of Square, not me.  
**Warnings**: Shonen-ai, light yaoi, implied sex, and some spoilers.  
**Rating**: PG-13  
**Pairing**: Sephiroth/Cloud   
Written for Hana no Ceres with much love. Hope you enjoy this dear and I'm sorry it took me so darned long to get it to you!

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There's something that not many people know about Sephiroth. Looking at him you wouldn't be able to tell. But there are many things about people that you can't know just by looking at them. Some of these things you can't even discover by talking to them. They're things that people don't want to be seen, things that people wished weren't real. And they think, maybe if they don't acknowledge that they're there, they won't really be there. 

For Sephiroth, this thing was patterns. No, I'm not speaking about the sort of patterns that you see on walls or maybe in an outfit. I'm referring to the patterns in life. Sephiorth is one of those people who don't enjoy change. Somehow he's managed to pull me into his obsession.

Ever since I can remember, I have admired Sephiroth. He's the sort of person that stands out in everyway possible. He has talent, intelligence, strength.

And he's attractive…

It's impossible to deny that Sephiorth is what someone would consider 'good-looking'. I must admit that's one of things I like most about him. His appearance is unique in so many ways. Long silver hair that spills over his shoulders, strongly defined facial structure, mako tinted teal eyes, and a body that's lean but defined; Sephiorth is one of those people you can't tear your eyes off of.

Even now he still takes my breath away. He just has that characteristic about him. Whenever he looks at me I can feel my cheeks heat up and I know then that they're a light shade of red. It's something so unlike me. I'm Cloud Strife: I don't care enough to blush. 

And yet, how could I not blush?

It's not that I'm attracted to guys. That clearly isn't the case. However, what if there was a guy who was so breathtaking that I could barely speak around him? Does it even really matter if the person I'm attracted to is male or female? 

But I suppose I'm getting sort of off track here. That's a bad habit of mine. It seems once I get onto one subject my mind isn't satisfied until it elaborates and overdoes the subject. In that way I believe I am crazy.

I'm assuming you want to know what is it about patterns that Sephiroth is obsessed with? I've already pointed out that he hates when his life changes. He finds one thing and he has to stick with it. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

I just happen to be one of those things. 

Naturally, I wasn't always part of his routine. How could I be? Given that I've only known Sephiorth since I ventured out to become a part of S.O.L.D.I.E.R., I couldn't have always been a part of his life. 

Exactly how did that happen? That's still a bit of a mystery to me. As most things in my life have started, it started with a mission. Thinking back on it, I can't even remember exactly what it was that the mission called for. I'd find that strange but I'm really not surprised. There's very little that seems to stick in my mind. 

What I do remember though is the overwhelming excitement that arose within me when I found out that I would be able to work with the man that I idolize. I had gone on the mission determined to do my best to make Sephiroth notice me. 

And he did; just not in the way that I had originally intended him to. Although, I must admit, I do believe that I like it better this way. This sort of treatment from Sephiroth is something that most people aren't lucky to have. I guess you can say that makes me special. 

Anyways, it was after the mission that he pulled me aside. He spoke to me, though as I'm sure one could guess, I don't remember what was said but rather I remember how my heart raced in those moments. 

Next thing I knew, I was part of one of Sephiroth's patterns. Our meetings always happen the same way as they did the first time. He pulls me aside after a mission, speaks things I will never be able to bring myself to remember, and then it goes from there.

I suspect that this time will be no different. It's not that I'm complaining but it would be nice to do things differently every once in a while. Still, I enjoy being involved with Sephiroth. That is assuming that you could call what we've established 'being involved'. The term 'affair', unfortunately, seems to be more fitting. 

My eyes briefly wonder over to where Sephiroth is currently seated. I wonder if I could make him try something a different way just once. The thought alone is almost laughable.

Of course these thoughts also have other ones that come along with it. These are thoughts that I wish that I could block out of my mind. I wonder if he could ever love me. It's a stupid thing to wonder, I know, but it's also something that I can't help. 

Have you ever noticed how it's in human nature to think of things that we don't like? The less appealing the idea seems to be, the more our brains want to pick at it. 

How do you get around that?

I really have no clue but the sudden urge to sleep washes over me. Normally I would push this urge aside but at the moment, sleeping doesn't seem to be an implausible idea right about now. The mission's over and it will be hours before we get back. What reason do I have not to fall asleep at this moment? At least if I sleep, I won't have to be up to think about answers to questions that I might very well never know the answers to.

With those last thoughts, I let my eyes slip closed and my head rest against the side of the vehicle. It wasn't too long before the sounds of the world around me faded away and I drifted off to sleep.

Next thing I know I'm blinking my eyes open sleepily to find annoyed looking teal ones staring back at me. I automatically know why Sephiroth's upset. My falling asleep on the ride home has probably set things back and that's something that he isn't used to. "What time is it?" I asked as I let out a small yawn.

"Late enough," he replies coolly. I should've been expecting as much but somehow I could still only stare at him. After a moment his teal eyes grow even more impatient. "Get up!" he orders. 

Knowing better than to question what he says, I stand. A little bit of the annoyance in his eyes flees because of it. "Follow me," Sephiroth gives another order. However I find that this one is a lot less snappish than the one before it. As he walks out of the vehicle, I do as he says, following closely (but not too closely) behind him. 

Why I still follow him is beyond me. I know exactly where he's going, exactly how he gets there, and exactly what's going to happen once we're there. It's just another one of the many things that have become a part of this pattern; one of those things I haven't the courage to break. He says to follow and I follow. It's pathetic, really but in my line of work following orders comes naturally. 

Being with Sephiroth is no different from that. He is my superior. I suppose you can say that applies on and off of the field. Funny thing is I think I'd find myself submitting to him even if it weren't for that fact. I give into his will too easily as it is. I've never objected, never told him to stop, pushed him away, or questioned him. I've never really done much aside from submitting to him.

Yet another thing that makes me pathetic. Oh joy.

It takes me a moment to realize that we're no longer outside but we're inside of Sephiorth's 'home'. I use the term loosely. He isn't the type of person to have a home. The world is home. I take a second to let my eyes wander over the familiar surroundings. It never changes. Everything seems to have a precise place that it has to be. And I'm sure if each thing weren't in that place he would flip without out so much as a second thought.

Should it bother me more than it does that he's so predictable? 

You would think that he wouldn't be exciting to be around because he _is_ predictable. Whereas that may very well be true, there's something about Sephiroth that makes him exhilarating to be around. You know what to expect but at the same time there's that small chances that he might actually surprise you. There's never a dull moment around him.

I follow him into the bedroom, looking around it passively. I don't know why I even bother to do so sometimes. It's not as if anything is going to—a deep gasp escapes me as I fight to catch my breath.

It takes me a moment to realize what happened but it becomes obvious after a moment. Currently my back is pressed harshly up against the door (when it was closed is unknown to me) with Sephiorth's body pressing up against mine, his mako colored eyes looking deeply into mine as if he's expecting something from me.

Panic; that's the first word that comes to mind when I think about this situation. This is something that I'm not used to. There was no talk about how the both of us are, even though during those talks we can only think of getting each other's clothing off. There were no subtle, suggestive glances, or fierce kisses. 

_This_ is something that I don't know how to deal with. It's different from what I used to. Hell, perhaps I'm the one who has to have everything the same. Not that I care at the moment. I'm too busy trying to figure out what's going on. This isn't how this is supposed to happen. 

Nevertheless, no matter how much this freaks me out, I know that I won't stop it. 

I continue to gaze into Sephiorth's teal eyes, feeling the weight of them heavy upon me. I know he's expecting something, and I know what it is that he's expecting but I'm not sure if I have it in me to give it to him. 

In spite of how I would want it to be, it's apparent that I'm ready to panic by the way that I'm breathing. My breaths are coming out in hurried, uneven pants. Along with that I'm also aware that my body is trembling under the weight of Sephiroth's gaze.

Still he does absolutely nothing. He knows that I'm panicking; I can tell by the way he's looking at me. Even knowing that he's still waiting for me; for some reason that seems almost laughable.

But if he says follow, I follow.

I tilt my head forward, pressing my lips up against him. This action is timid in spite of my apparently pathetic efforts to make the fact that I'm about to panic disappear. Luckily as soon as my lips hit his, Sephiroth takes control from there, pressing his lips so fiercely up against mine that I have to bend my head backwards to be able to truly accept it. 

_This_ is something more familiar. _This_ is something that I know how to deal with. A small moan passes through my lips as I part them, allowing his tongue to slip in and stroke my own in hard but strangely gentle caresses. Though the gentleness is something that I'm not used to, it's made less frightening by the fact that I know that this will end with the same results. 

As I half expect (not really knowing what to expect) Sephiroth to lead us over to the bed, he surprises me once again. He pushes upwards knowing that I'll act on instinct and wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. It's not surprising that only seconds later I find myself in exactly that position. 

It isn't long after that Sephiroth pulls away, titling his head to the side and before moving forward to suck lightly on the skin of my neck. I push my head backwards to that the top of it is pressed against the door almost painfully, exposing more of my neck to him. Small moans and gasps soon follow as he alternates from grazing his teeth against my skin, biting, sucking, nibbling, and kissing at it. 

When he pulls back, I whimper slightly, feeling it's too soon. I'm not disappointed for too long however. His arms wrap around me as he nuzzles the side of my neck with his nose, before carrying me over the bed, and ultimately, lowering me down onto it. 

Because of this, I can't help but wonder: did he break the pattern or just start a new one?


End file.
